Everyone loves a creepy guy

We are in the middle of developing a new project involving one of our coworkers and at least one puppet. We will update you as more information becomes available. For now, we need some help from all of you. We've created a puppet character who is intended to be kind of creepy. The key is, he says very normal things in a way that could sound creepy. So far his catch phrases include:

You're my best friend.
Can I touch your hair?
Let me tie your shoes.
I thought you could come to my house for some supper. I'm making spaghetti.

Hopefully we can get you some audio of this fellow soon.

What we need from you is some suggestions. Please leave your suggestions for potentially creepy, face value innocuous, statements in the comments. Again we want to stress things that sound normal but could be creepy. We'll pick our favorites in April.

It's Mo Monday!

We never thought it would happen. Take a look.

That's right. We captured Mo! And we may have taunted him a little bit. Poked him a couple of times with a stick.  Of course, what you don't see here is that five minutes later he escaped from our makeshift cage and tried to eat Speck's face. But for those five minutes we had won.

We can't find what doesn't exist.

Spring is on it's way and the Murder Goose has come out again. He caught wind of one of the most irritating patrons we've had in recent memory at Tartarus. The following conversation really got his goat.

This woman came up to the desk with her demands. "You all have this book. It is about an Indian and a wolf. The title is something about a rainbow."
Spacey checked the computer record. "I'm sorry. It looks like we don't stock that book."
"Yes, you do," the woman insisted. "My friend said she got it here."
Spacey searched again. And again. Using several different combinations of search terms. "I'm just not seeing anything matching that description. Could the title be something different?"
"No," the woman insisted. "I know it was that. I'll just go look for it myself." If she'd left it at that we might not be telling you this story. Not so. Ten minutes later she came back to the desk, still with no book, and insisted that Spacey search again, using the exact same search terms as before. She couldn't tell us anything else about this supposed book. Did she really think it was going to show up in ten minutes? Or that Spacey was lying to her? 

And that's why Rainbow Woman is the next murder goose victim.

 

It's the deal of a lifetime

Introducing a new product from Stare Co. - The Ultra Moron Box.

Is your work place dull? Lackluster? Are you looking for a little excitement? Order the Ultra Moron Box. For only $19.95 plus $6.95 shipping and handling you'll receive one of Stare Co.'s premium morons. Your choice of: gibbering idiot, drool monkey, or mental slug. 

But wait! There's more! Order now and you can get the Super Ultra Moron Box - that's three surprise morons including one of our ultra rare morons - for just 10 additional dollars. That's the Ultra Moron Box or the Super Ultra Moron Box for the low low price of $29.95. Act now because supplies are limited. 

 

This is a gross one

Time for another installation of Stuff Out of Context.

Our line this week is: She needs more money for barf.

Jimmy Duck overhears stuff

Sometimes you hear one side of a phone conversation and what you hear is so stupid it bears repeating. Spacey spent a good 20 minutes on the phone with somebody today and this is part of what we heard.

"If you gave me the correct year, January 2nd and January 3rd are only a day apart."

Taking this statement to it's logical conclusion, Spacey must think that in some years January 2nd and January 3rd aren't just one day apart. Is there some year when there is a January 2.5, 2.6666, 2.8, etc?

Tell me more about this magical January.

It's Mo Monday!

We only wanted a pencil. We swear. We figured that there would be a pencil or two in that drawer. No pencils. Just Mo giving us a good scolding.

No pencils for you today Spoof and Speck.