Indoors is underrated

With summer nearly here, you may be contemplating going camping this weekend. If your plans include a stay at a campground, we urge you to reconsider. Why, you ask? Well, the situation is far too horrifying for photographs. The pictures would likely have been banned from this platform as inappropriate. Instead, we submit to you, an artist's rendering. This is why you should not go camping, this weekend or any time in the near future.

 BAM!

We'll give you a second for your screams to die down

That's right. The Hutt, having left the torture den that is Tartarus, has started a new career as an official at a camp ground. 

It's like a horror movie. Enough to put you off camping for the rest of your life. Is a couple of nights sleeping in a tent really worth that horror?

But he does brush my hair

It's time once again for Stuff Out of Context! Today's line is:
Daredevil doesn't brush my teeth.

put down that paste, Daredevil

 

It's Mo Monday!

You might think that a giant rabid squirrel would be a good neighbor. If you do, we suggest you get your head examined. You should probably have a long rest in a padded hospital room. Not only would Mo be a constant physical threat, he has a terrible habit of peeping in windows.
 

The solution seems simple

When Comfort Inn first started working at Tartarus, she took took away a desk that we (Spoof and Speck) and Opie used for storage. We had just one day to clean everything out of it. Because of the amount of stuff stored in the desk and the short time frame, we got permission to put the bulk of it into neatly organized boxes in the storage room until we had time to find a better place to keep it all.

So, we each filled some boxes. We neatly sorted and stacked things in our boxes so we could find them for the few days that searching for new storage took. 

Opie heaped stuff randomly into several boxes and tossed them haphazardly down an aisle in the store room. He complained several times about not being able to find things, needing to reprint or even in some cases repurchase some items he'd stored in that desk. Yet he never made a move to unpack the boxes. 

That was six months ago. Until this week, the boxes were still in the store room. It is only because Spoof got sick of tripping over them and threw it all away that the boxes are gone.

Yet we are the ones who are called pigs.

Spoof and Speck, you slobs

 

Nice and tidy, Opie

Apple or carrot?

It's time once again for Stuff Out of Context! Today's line is:
Everyone wants to make juice in a hippo.

It's Mo Monday!

Welcome home, friends, to the village of horrors. Remember, no matter how bad things are they could always be worse. You could share your home with a giant, homicidal squirrel.
 

Did you just say that?

The stupidity and rudeness never stops. Here are more flinch-worthy gems from the mouths of our co-workers.

1. It looks like you're leaking.

2. You're trying to scam us.

3. You're old, so you probably don't know what you're doing.

Can it get much worse? We're afraid to find out.

Winos are classier than meth-heads

It's time once again for Stuff Out of Context! Today's line is:
Become a wino. That's a great plan.

Here's a do-it-yourself kit!

 

It's Mo Monday!

What is it about barns that seems to terrify people? We bet you can name at least a couple of horror movies with barn scenes. Of course, the idea of a human-sized rabid squirrel occupying such a barn makes it all the more terrifying.