It's Mo Monday!

Like much of the country, we've had a particularly hard winter that doesn't seem to want to end. It's starting to have an effect on people. And also on animals. Look at poor Mo.

He just wants the snow to end.

Mo is so ready for spring to arrive he didn't even try to attack us when we took this photo.

A tale of a Tempy

More than half a year ago we introduced you to Tempy, the Hutt's assistant. 

Then we never talked about her again.
 
There's a good reason for that. Some four months ago, Tempy took a leave of absence to sell her second home in Florida or South Carolina or Alabama. Someplace down south like that. We were told that as soon as the sale was final Tempy would be back. Not so friends.

Last month, the Hutt had a really serious conversation with all of us at a staff meeting. Tempy's house closing was taking too long, the Hutt said, and with no sign of things finishing up down there in South Floribama there was no choice but to let her go. The Hutt wanted to give Tempy time to get things settled but enough was enough.

"Spoof and Speck," you are saying, "what gives? There is nothing funny or even outrageous about that story. Where is your usual awesomeness?"

You, not being entertained by this post.

Well, for the awesomeness we have to go back in time a little bit to the day that Tempy left. Our spies tell us that on that day, Tempy tried to quit. She turned in her letter of resignation. She knew that house closings can take time and she didn't want to keep us hanging in Tartarus. The Hutt refused to accept the resignation. All of this frustration over the time that Tempy was taking is ALL THE HUTT'S FAULT. And that's what makes this story worthy of the Death Stare.

That's right, Hutt. Your fault.

Coincidentally, the Hutt and Shoes are currently interviewing for a new Tempy. We'll let you all know if anything interesting happens on that front. 

Now that's teamwork

Grapey Updatey

Two weeks ago we introduced you to our new friend Grrr-apey. We love him so much that he is making another appearance. 

Firstly, here are the grapeys as they look this week.

Ewwwwww!

And just in case you thought this was the only moldy food in the Tartarus refrigerator, here are a few other gems we found hiding in there.

We believe this was once a cheesy potato casserole.  Like 6 months ago. We're pretty sure the person who brought this dish in doesn't even work at Tartarus anymore.

We haven't the slightest idea what this once was.

 

It's Mo Monday!

We are worried. Mo has made a new friend.

That's right. Everyone's favorite Melmakian, Alf.

Already several neighborhood cats have gone missing. We can't even begin to guess what they will do next.

Shoes doesn't get it

Do you recall the policy change we were dealing with last month? Well, they've finally made up their minds about the changes and we are now expected to implement the policy. There are still a number of problems. Namely, none of our questions have actually been answered. The policy remains entirely incomprehensible. Every time we ask for clarification we get a scornful reply of "just use your best judgement."

Today we cornered Shoes and demanded some answers. "This line of policy is unclear," we said. 

"Just do what seems right to you," said Shoes.

"But what if what I think completely contradicts what another person thinks. We're going to be telling patrons different information every time they come in."

"Yeah, I guess so," said Shoes.

"And you see nothing wrong with that?" we persisted.

Shoes just blinked and shrugged.

I feel like I'm taking crazy pills!

The sad thing is, we sort of understand how this interpretation of policy works in their minds. The truth is the Hutt, Shoes, and the board really want us to be a bunch of mindless robots they can program to exactly follow their wishes.

Perfect Tartarus employees

Where the place is staffed by a bunch of individuals, we predict utter chaos. This is probably not the last time you will hear about this stupid policy.

Taylor Swift was writing about you, Spoof

Here's an annoying one for you.

Today, Opie spent probably five minutes telling a patron about an event we're holding tomorrow. Let's call it Program X. After the patron left, Opie walked away. Spoof, having witnessed this interchange, thought perhaps Opie was being rational today.

All of you who've read this blog before know better

When Opie walked back up to the desk two minutes later, Spoof said "Opie, I noticed there is nothing on our website about Program X."

Opie said,"Oh, is that tomorrow?"

Spoof was calm and instead of screaming at Opie very calmly said, "Did you forget you just told that patron about Program X?"

Opie didn't even respond, just looked wounded and walked away.

Now we've been talking about Program X off and on for at least a month. It was specifically mentioned in our staff meeting earlier this week. Opie even offered to help with prep work on two separate occasions. Opie and Speck spent at least fifteen minutes talking about details of Program X just yesterday.

All of this is annoying, but kind of standard for Opie. What makes this story really bad is what happened next. As Opie walked away, Shoes came shuffling over.

"Don't you think that was kind of a mean thing to say to sweet, sweet Opie?" said Shoes.

"No, no I don't," snapped Spoof. And Spoof walked away as well, or the next things said would probably have been quite mean indeed.