Of doorknobs and coffee pots

Imagine with us for a moment. Your walking around carrying a coffee pot in one hand and a water bottle in the other. Suddenly you come to a closed door. You need to go into the room on the other side of the door. What do you do?

What a quandary this is.

There are many correct answers to that question. Let's list a few:
   1. Set down the water bottle. Turn the knob.
   2. Set down the coffee pot. Turn the knob.
   3. Tuck the water bottle under your arm. Turn the knob.

You know what doesn't work? Trying to turn the knob with the coffee pot. Who even tries to do that? Our coworker Opie, that's who. What is going on in Opie's mind that the coffee pot seemed like the best answer to the problem? We shouldn't be surprised. Opie also thought that it was normal for the elevator to stop with the door open about three inches. Opie seems to have a real problem with doors.

Can't turn a doorknob

Apparently also can't turn a doorknob