Of zebras and Veggie Tales

So, the other day the Hutt announced that we have a new employee coming in a few weeks.  We don't know about where you work, but in Tartarus we cyberstalk new employees the first chance we get.  We, along with coworker Buck, were alone today and got to talking about the new guy. Speck started calling him Zebra (it's a long story). Buck said, "No, you can't call him that. I don't know what he is yet. Once I meet him, we can name him."

Excuse you? Who gave Buck the authority to tell us what we can nickname someone? For that reason alone, the new guy may be stuck with Zebra as a name.

We hope he's as cool as this zebra

Of course, our next step was to look him up on Facebook. We just wanted some idea of what we might be in for since the Hutt tends to hire some awful people. Buck looked at the Zebra's page for a minute, maybe, then immediately declared him "a religious nut." Seriously, the guy had liked Veggie Tales and a couple of Christian bands. Absolutely nothing on his page even neared "nut" territory. So, Speck committed the ultimate sin (apparently) of disagreeing, declaring "I like some of that stuff."

Liking these guys makes you crazy, apparently.

"On Facebook?" said Buck, and friends there is no way to convey the level of disbelief and disapproval in his voice when he said it in writing. Let's just say Speck was immediately angry.

When Speck nodded, Buck just rolled his eyes. "I guarantee, within a week, he'll do something completely crazy."

Our minds are blown.

The spree continues

Our friend the murder goose has another victim in his sights. It's no surprise that he's now after good ol' Shoes.

Shoes tells us that we are no longer allowed to use a particular desk in one of our work spaces. We're told that co-worker Buck has been complaining that we're always taking up that space when he needs it. 

It so happens that we are friends with Buck. Concerned that we've offended him, Spoof apologizes for the inconvenience. Buck, it turns out, has no idea what we are talking about. He never made a complaint and has no desire to use the desk in question.

We don't object to being told not to use the desk (even though no one ever uses it). It's the lying that has us and the murder goose upset. 

Next time, don't lay your complaints on other people.