Of zebras and Veggie Tales

So, the other day the Hutt announced that we have a new employee coming in a few weeks.  We don't know about where you work, but in Tartarus we cyberstalk new employees the first chance we get.  We, along with coworker Buck, were alone today and got to talking about the new guy. Speck started calling him Zebra (it's a long story). Buck said, "No, you can't call him that. I don't know what he is yet. Once I meet him, we can name him."

Excuse you? Who gave Buck the authority to tell us what we can nickname someone? For that reason alone, the new guy may be stuck with Zebra as a name.

We hope he's as cool as this zebra

Of course, our next step was to look him up on Facebook. We just wanted some idea of what we might be in for since the Hutt tends to hire some awful people. Buck looked at the Zebra's page for a minute, maybe, then immediately declared him "a religious nut." Seriously, the guy had liked Veggie Tales and a couple of Christian bands. Absolutely nothing on his page even neared "nut" territory. So, Speck committed the ultimate sin (apparently) of disagreeing, declaring "I like some of that stuff."

Liking these guys makes you crazy, apparently.

"On Facebook?" said Buck, and friends there is no way to convey the level of disbelief and disapproval in his voice when he said it in writing. Let's just say Speck was immediately angry.

When Speck nodded, Buck just rolled his eyes. "I guarantee, within a week, he'll do something completely crazy."

Our minds are blown.