Really? Really?!

At Tartarus, we post signs in the building warning patrons about upcoming holidays and such when we will be closed. On the surface this is a very sensible plan. If only it were being done in a sensible way. 

Three of these signs got posted this week: two on Monday and one today. One of Monday's signs warned about a staff education day November 17th. A month in advance seemed a little premature but not particularly worth mentioning. 

Then the Hutt had Neppy post another one. The second sign told people we would be closed for Thanksgiving. Now, by our count that sign is posted SIX weeks in advance. More than a little ridiculous.

This seemed sensible to you Hutt?

The cherry on top is today's closing sign, reminding people that we close for Veteran's Day. It doesn't take a very big brain to realize that Veteran's Day actually happens before either of the other two. So why wait to hang that sign?

Staplers. Again.

We thought there couldn't possibly be any more stapler stories coming out of Tartarus. We told you about the long discussion about where to put a stapler. We told you about the labels on the staplers. What else could happen related to staplers (other than one of our favorite past times - opening up a stapler and seeing how far we can shoot the staples). Today our coworkers proved us wrong.

Who knew staplers were so complex

A patron approached the Neppy at the desk. "Do you have a stapler I can borrow," said the woman.


"Ah yes," said Neppy, plucking a particular stapler from the desk drawer. "This is the special lending stapler. The others do not move from the desk."

Are you kidding, Neppy? It's bad enough that you have a "lending stapler". You certainly don't need to tell the patrons about it. Talk about stupid.

What is wrong with you?

A strange definition of easy

Neppy exhibits some of the most bizarre behavior we've ever seen at Tartarus (and that is certainly saying something). Take, for instance, leaving the desk. Take a look at this handy chart we have created.

Now, any sensible person is going to exit out that right hand space and go around front.

Like so

Sensible is, of course, the operative word. Take a look at the path that Neppy takes.

Weird, right?

So, we asked Neppy why? Why go the long way around? 
Said Neppy, "It's easier. That way I don't have to turn around to come back. I just make a loop." 

This is easier? We ask you, is turning around that difficult/confusing?

 

Tartarus may be in another dimension

It is summer, yes? Pretty much no matter where you live in the United States, July and August get pretty warm. Around Tartarus we've had several days in the upper 80's. Why then are all of our coworkers wearing sweaters?

This is what it has looked like all summer

Neppy wears a sweater Every. Single. Day. Heavy, only-wear-it-in-the-dead-of-winter, sweaters. Every day.

Today, Shoes came in wearing a heavy long sleeved sweater. When we saw Shoes 15 minutes later, that sweater had been removed to reveal...

-wait for it-

another sweater.

It's like those nesting dolls. Or Bartholomew Cubbins's Hats. Or Sammy the Dead Rat from Wayside School (look that last one up if you've never heard of it. It's a hoot.)

Are all of these people completely brain dead?

 
 

A different kind of shoe story

Last night, Speck was scheduled to work with just Neppy. Speck was not pleased. Speck finds Neppy incredibly annoying. Still, two people have managed Tartarus at night before. They would have been fine. Then we got a revised schedule. Shoes got scheduled to work along with them. Also annoying, but not a huge big deal.

Come yesterday morning, Shoes showed up at 8. That is Shoes' normal coming in time. When closing, one usually arrives at 11 or 12. When Spoof questioned Shoes arrival, Shoes said, "oh, I forgot."

"So, ar you going to leave," asked Spoof.

"No, maybe I'll split the shift. Maybe I'll just leave at five. Maybe I'll work all day. We'll see," said Shoes.

Cause that makes sense

Fast forward to five o'clock. Shoes had been there all day and showed no signs of leaving. Neppy and Speck were told "Shoes is here, but not really here." This meant Shoes sat at the back desk all night working, unpaid, on stuff that could have waited until morning. But, Shoes would not wait on any patrons. No matter what.

Yeah, don't think so