Grow up, Turtle

Yesterday the Powers That Be sent some of us from Tartarus to a conference. The whole thing was a colossal waste of time and money, but that's not the point of this story. No, what stuck with us from the day happened at lunch.

We ended up at a lunch table with Turtle. If you've joined us before and read a Turtle story you know this is likely to be disgusting. Now, this conference didn't feed us via buffet table. No, our meals were ordered in advance and delivered by waiters. Turtle was the first person at our table to get food. She immediately began to eat, stuffing huge messy bites into her massive maw. 

With just that crazy of a look in her eye

Then our waiter came around with desserts. Much like the sides, desserts were determined by your meal choice. One person at our table got chocolate mousse. Turtle's meal came with 2 churros and a dish of chocolate dipping sauce (it was a south-western sort of deal). Turtle was incredibly putout. "Why does he get a chocolate thing and I get stupid fried crap," Turtle proclaimed loudly. This would be embaressing enough in a general conference setting, not to mention at this particular conference where there was a speaker during the meal. 

I want what I want! Give me his!

As if that weren't enough, someone offered to trade desserts with Turtle. After not even saying thanks, Turtle scarfed down the new dessert in three incredibly disgusting bites involving a lot of licking and lip smacking. Then, in just ten minutes, she consumed eight mini candy bars and a granola bar.

That's got to be the whole story, right? If only.

Fast forward an hour and a half. After a short session there was time scheduled to visit with vendors. There was also a snack buffet. Upon seeing the spread of cookies Turtle loudly proclaimed, "At last! Real dessert!"