Lips don't know judo

It's time once again for Stuff Out of Context! Today's line is:
I guess it's a mouth fight.
 

 

It's Mo Monday!

You're working at your desk and find you've run out of staples. Because you're so focused, you open your drawer and dig for new staples without looking.

And then Mo, who has taken to lurking in drawers, eats all of your fingers.

The moral of this story? Always look, friends. Always look.

Email is hard!

Sometimes we see stupid stuff happening and it seems like we are the only ones bothered. It's enough to make a person wonder. Is it really so bad or are we exaggerating the issue?

We're not exaggerating.

Hickey has called the IT department at least three times for help signing into her email. She can't figure out the difference between a username and a password. At least 3 times, IT has spent at least 5 minutes helping her. She still can't figure out how to log in.

 

Regular rabies are only good for home

It's time once again for Stuff Out of Context! Today's line is:
I'm bringing the rabies to work today.

It's Mo Monday!

Mo is determined to rule everything, even something as insignificant as a pile of firewood. We feel bad for whoever intends to use this wood in the future. They will have a hard time collecting it. Mo can be very territorial.

Totally fair

Maybe we're crazy but we've always thought that everyone in Tartarus should have to abide by the same rules. Like time cards. We used to get a few days grace to hand in our time cards. Lately Mineola has gotten really strict about them. If you don't hand them in the day they are due, you don't get paid. Period. Awfully strict, we thought, but so long as everyone follows the same rule it's fair.

You can see where this is going, right?

Zebra had to go home early one week. His kid was sick and no one else was available to pick the kid up. In the chaos, he forgot to hand in his time card. He, then, did not get paid.

Fast forward a week. Mosquito forgot to hand in her time card. No good reason, just forgot to fill it out. Mineola and Shoes filled one out for her so she wouldn't miss a paycheck.

Let's look at it financially. Mosquito shares living expenses with her boyfriend who has a good job. Plus her parents still pay for half her expenses. Zebra is a single parent with small children. He must pay child care and alimony. Which of these people can't really afford a delayed or missed paycheck? 

And they claim there's no favoritism at Tartarus.

 

Do we really talk about butts this much or are sentences about butts just inherently funny?

It's time once again for Stuff Out of Context! Today's line is:
You brush your teeth with his butt.

 

It's Mo Monday!

There are no words to express the horror that this photo brings us. We'll just let it speak for itself.

 

A group effort

We're not sure who's to blame with this one. 

Is it Hickey, unable to absorb even the simplest of instructions, no matter how many times she hears them?

Is it Opie, how shouldn't be teaching anyone anything since he does everything in the dumbest way possible?

Is it Mineola and Shoes for letting Opie take charge of teaching Hickey as skill she clearly wasn't ready for?

It's hard to say. All we know is Opie was teaching Hickey how to do inventory using a laptop. They spent three hours working on four sets of shelves. After that time, they claimed to be done. When Spoof checked the inventory, nothing had been recorded. Opie blamed the internet, saying it "doesn't work in the afternoon". 

 

A vision of the future

Its time once again for Stuff Out of Context! Today's line is:
The tentacle will one day rule the world.

 

It's Mo Monday!

We received a packaged cushioned with packing peanuts. Interestingly enough, the peanuts were shaped like letters. Mo was delighted to see these particular packing peanuts. We tried to show him all of the other words you can spell with the full box of packing peanuts. It didn't work. He insisted that these were the only letters that matter.

At least he is so enamored with them that he hasn't tried to eat anyone if a couple of days.