Of course. That makes so much sense.

Our story today actually does not take place in Tartarus. It's about Shoes. 

Shoes is married. We know what you're thinking: Who in their right mind would marry that loon? Shoes' significant other is called Squirrel. 

What a lovely couple!

Squirrel worked, until just recently, in a big box store. The other day Shoes came in looking a little concerned and confided in us. Squirrel got fired.

"Oh no," we said, "what happened?"

"Well," said Shoes, "just like me, Squirrel is a very good worker. The others at the store were very jealous and complained to the corporate office. They decided the only solution was to fire Squirrel."

 

Are you serious right now?

There are so many problems with that explanation. Let's number them, shall we?
     1. Shoes is not a good worker. Shoes in an annoying, inept, useless worker.
     2. You have to massively screw up to get fired from a big box store. Seriously, morons work there. 
     3. No one thinks it is good business practice to fire good workers, regardless of how others feel about them. It's common sense.
     4. If they did fire Squirrel for being "too good" that's not something you just accept. You get upset. You make a scene. You demand to speak to your corporate office. 

We'd keep going, but we might run out of fingers.

So, this leads us to a couple of conclusions. Either Shoes and Squirrel are completely delusional or they are lying to everyone.