If you have a weak stomach you may wish to rejoin us tomorrow

We have discovered that the co-worker we call Turtle is aptly named. Consider the following story.

This week Shoes brought a desert to our staff meeting, a cheese danish style treat. While we watched, Turtle ate 7 of the 16 servings.
Curious, we looked up the recipe for this desert. It includes 2 tubes of crescent rolls and 2 packages of cream cheese (along with sugar, eggs, that kind of thing).

Doesn't everyone eat an entire tube of crescent rolls with a block of cream cheese in under 30 minutes?

Now, you're probably asking yourselves what any of this has to do with turtles. Recent research has taught us that some pet turtles will eat themselves to death given constant access to food. This seems like a real possibility for Turtle.