Dunce Corner

We haven't visited the Dunce Corner for a while and that's a crying shame. Here is some idiocy for your reading pleasure:

Plague pronounces segue "seh-goo"

Mr. Ed spells square "sqware"

Overheard in Tartarus:
What's your sister Sue's name?

Also available in Rubber Cement and Gaffer Tape

It's time once again for Stuff Out of Context! Today's line is:

You found the glue pringles!

 

Merry Christmas from Spoof and Speck

Can you tell which stocking is Mo's?

 

You can keep that pencil

It's time once again for Stuff Out of Context! Today's line is:

Stop picking at your toenails and draw mittens.

 

It's Mo Monday!

Mo has been working on his Christmas list for weeks now. He's filled much of that little notebook. If he gets his way, it will be a very grim Christmas morning, given that his list includes body parts and weapons of mayhem and destruction. On the plus side, it keeps him busy.
 

It came from the Goodwill

The Christmas season brings out the best in many thrift shops. You can find all kinds of awesome decorations. You can also find all kinds of creepy weirdness. Like this one. We don't want that elf on our shelf. Or anywhere else in our houses.

That poor central monkey

It's time once again for Stuff Out of Context! Today's line is:
Today will bite the biggest of monkey butts.

It's Mo Monday!

Here's an interesting development. We have no idea where Mo found this controller. We don't think it's even attached to anything. Somehow, though, it is keeping him occupied. We've decided not to question it. We're not looking this gift horse in the mouth.
 

It makes you frightened for the future of humanity

Just in case you needed further proof of how moronic Hickey is:

We have discovered that Hickey does not know how to put things in alphabetical order. When questioned, Hickey admits that she struggles with the alphabet and did not realize that she would need to use it so much. In her last job, she says, she could work around it. Where did Hickey work previous to Tartarus, you ask? 

She was a preschool teacher.

How in the name of all that is reasonable can one teach preschoolers if one cannot even grasp the basics of the alphabet?

 

Not sure the ride is worth it

It's time once again for Stuff Out of Context! Today's line is:
If you pop out the eyeballs it can go in my car

It's Mo Monday!

Mo's obsession with gaming continues. We found this large Nintendo controller recently. Even though he'd already worked through all of the original Nintendo games we had, we were able convince him that the joystick made them entirely different games. 
 

It's Mo Monday!

Mo is taking a break from his video game obsession. He remembered Thanksgiving and has been obsessed with creating the perfect feast. Luckily he couldn't find a blunderbuss. The world is safe, for now at least.

He does make a rather dashing pilgrim. Though with the way he wears that hat he could perform backup for Pharrell.

 

Little guy, great big door

It's time once again for Stuff Out of Context! Today's line is:
Sometimes I get sidetracked while walking on the door.

It's Mo Monday!

Mo's video game obsession continues. Once we introduced him to the X-Box we opened up a whole new world of distraction. Mo meet internet gaming. World, you can breathe freely for a few more days.

It came from the Goodwill

Why is this monkey blue? why does it look so frightened? Is it afraid of that clearly menacing tree? Most importantly, who in their right mind would buy this and put it in their house?

I have it in writing

It's time once again for Stuff Out of Context! Today's line is:

I was promised freaks.

 

It's Mo Monday!

It will surprise no one to learn that Mo adores Halloween. As you can see, he's already collected his treat. We're a little scared to learn who got tricked.

 
Happy Halloween from Spoof and Speck!

We've given up explaining these people

So, if you feel you can't go to work on a given day, what do you do?

What's that you say? Call your boss/manager? Call the specified "call out" line? 

You mean, you don't send a text or a Facebook message? And not even to your boss but to a subordinate? Because Mosquito seems to think this is perfectly acceptable. 

And to make matters worse, the excuse she gave? "I stayed up late last night. I'm too tired." Most places you don't even have to give an excuse. Just "I'm not coming in today". If you feel the need to give a reason why not stick with "I don't feel well." "I'm too tired" is only valid if you were at the emergency room or something. 

 

Utterly disturbing

It's time once again for Stuff Out of Context! Today's line is:

Muffin only wears Ronald McDonald boots.

 

Everyone loves a dungeon beach party

It's time once again for Stuff Out of Context! Today's line is:
Today was a throwing things around the dungeon day.

It's Mo Monday!

The Gameboy held Mo's interest a surprisingly long time. We found this old hand-held game tucked in an attic. We don't expect it to be much of a diversion but we have more systems on their way. Thank goodness for hoarder relatives.

It came from the Goodwill

Cat lamp = weird
Fruit hat = weird
Cat wearing a fruit hat attached to a lamp ....

Wormholes need fudge ripple

It's time once again for Stuff Out of Context! Today's line is:
That freezer is like a black hole.

 

It's Mo Monday!

We're trying not to get our hopes up, but it seems like Mo the retro-gamer might be a thing. As we predicted, the Atari obsession didn't last long. So we found him a Gameboy. We don't have access to a lot of games and he's burning through the ones we have at an alarming rate. We're digging through garages, attics, and thrift stores for games and systems. The longer we can keep this going the better off we all will be.

 

If you needed proof...

You may think we are exaggerating Hickey's stupidity. If anything, we are downplaying it. Observe the note we found that Hickey left for herself.

What does this mean? Is a computer machine different than a regular computer? How does one review buttons?

We think maybe Hickey ought to review where brain is in head skull.

I'd hate to think you did it on purpose

It's time once again for Stuff Out of Context! Today's line is:

I accidentally inhaled a squirrel tail.

It's Mo Monday!

Once again, fate has granted us a reprieve. Mo has discovered video games. It's only Atari, so his distraction won't last too long but we figure it's good for at least a threat-free week. Maybe we can get our hands on a Nintendo after that...

It came from the Goodwill

This photo is perhaps not the clearest but this blazer is made from a furry fabric. Because nothings says classy like a jacket that makes you look like a psychedelic muppet.

Is he on sale?

It's time once again for Stuff Out of Context! Today's line is:
We don't buy iced Brytons much any more.

 

It's Mo Monday!

Is the world safe at last? We found Mo trapped in a cage today! It's a good sized cage with wide bars but for the moment he can't seem to find his way out. It's not likely to last long but we'll take whatever reprieve we can get.

It came from the Goodwill

There is some much going on here, so much that is tacky. 

• Little straw hat
• Little clay pipe
• Man made of shells
• Tiny can of Pepsi
• Awkward cross-legged pose
• and the clincher - googly eyes

It had excellent references

It's time once again for Stuff Out of Context! Today's line is:
It's like they're hiring rocks.

It's Mo Monday!

When you're doing chores, you're always looking for shortcuts, ways to make the jobs easier. Dishwashers make household chores much simpler. That is, unless a murderous squirrel decides to make your dishwasher his new home. Mo claims he's trying to keep us from becoming lazy. We suspect he just enjoys our misery.

It came from the Goodwill

Today we'd like to try out another new feature. We call this one:
It came from the Goodwill.

Just as the name suggests, these posts will feature the weird and/or creepy things we've seen at thrift shops. The kind of things that make you wonder about the original owners.


This dog is not so bad in and of itself. A little too long in the face and a little too wrinkly but not horrible. Except for that tear. Why is it red? Why would you want a dog crying bloody tears?

Lips don't know judo

It's time once again for Stuff Out of Context! Today's line is:
I guess it's a mouth fight.
 

 

It's Mo Monday!

You're working at your desk and find you've run out of staples. Because you're so focused, you open your drawer and dig for new staples without looking.

And then Mo, who has taken to lurking in drawers, eats all of your fingers.

The moral of this story? Always look, friends. Always look.

Email is hard!

Sometimes we see stupid stuff happening and it seems like we are the only ones bothered. It's enough to make a person wonder. Is it really so bad or are we exaggerating the issue?

We're not exaggerating.

Hickey has called the IT department at least three times for help signing into her email. She can't figure out the difference between a username and a password. At least 3 times, IT has spent at least 5 minutes helping her. She still can't figure out how to log in.

 

Regular rabies are only good for home

It's time once again for Stuff Out of Context! Today's line is:
I'm bringing the rabies to work today.

It's Mo Monday!

Mo is determined to rule everything, even something as insignificant as a pile of firewood. We feel bad for whoever intends to use this wood in the future. They will have a hard time collecting it. Mo can be very territorial.

Totally fair

Maybe we're crazy but we've always thought that everyone in Tartarus should have to abide by the same rules. Like time cards. We used to get a few days grace to hand in our time cards. Lately Mineola has gotten really strict about them. If you don't hand them in the day they are due, you don't get paid. Period. Awfully strict, we thought, but so long as everyone follows the same rule it's fair.

You can see where this is going, right?

Zebra had to go home early one week. His kid was sick and no one else was available to pick the kid up. In the chaos, he forgot to hand in his time card. He, then, did not get paid.

Fast forward a week. Mosquito forgot to hand in her time card. No good reason, just forgot to fill it out. Mineola and Shoes filled one out for her so she wouldn't miss a paycheck.

Let's look at it financially. Mosquito shares living expenses with her boyfriend who has a good job. Plus her parents still pay for half her expenses. Zebra is a single parent with small children. He must pay child care and alimony. Which of these people can't really afford a delayed or missed paycheck? 

And they claim there's no favoritism at Tartarus.

 

Do we really talk about butts this much or are sentences about butts just inherently funny?

It's time once again for Stuff Out of Context! Today's line is:
You brush your teeth with his butt.

 

It's Mo Monday!

There are no words to express the horror that this photo brings us. We'll just let it speak for itself.

 

A group effort

We're not sure who's to blame with this one. 

Is it Hickey, unable to absorb even the simplest of instructions, no matter how many times she hears them?

Is it Opie, how shouldn't be teaching anyone anything since he does everything in the dumbest way possible?

Is it Mineola and Shoes for letting Opie take charge of teaching Hickey as skill she clearly wasn't ready for?

It's hard to say. All we know is Opie was teaching Hickey how to do inventory using a laptop. They spent three hours working on four sets of shelves. After that time, they claimed to be done. When Spoof checked the inventory, nothing had been recorded. Opie blamed the internet, saying it "doesn't work in the afternoon". 

 

A vision of the future

Its time once again for Stuff Out of Context! Today's line is:
The tentacle will one day rule the world.