True port-a-johns

It's time once again for Stuff Out of Context! Today's line is:

Who wouldn't want to go potty in a rocket?

They taste better than the mini-blinds

It's time once again for Stuff Out of Context! Today's line is:

I was sitting behind the tv, chewing on the curtains.

 

It's Mo Monday!

We never would have expected Mo to show an interest in something so innocent as Pez dispensers. And then he explained that he's a fan of anything that involves getting food by removing something's head. The world makes sense again. It's just a little bit more sad.

 

Greyhounds would be an entirely different story

It's time once again for Stuff Out of Context! Today's line is:

I won't be a sled dog with that woman.

 

It's Mo Monday!

If you are unfamiliar with Doctor Who, this robot-thing with Mo is called a Dalek. The Dalek's sole mission in life is to delete anything that is not a Dalek. In other words, exactly Mo's type of creature.

 

We love the especially stinky kind

It's time once again for Stuff Out of Context! Today's line is:

That's my favorite hobby, smelling fish.

It's Mo Monday!

Let's try another caption contest. Enter your best caption in the comments. We'll dedicate a special post to the winner in September.

Kosher dills go great with kung pao

It's time once again for Stuff Out of Context! Today's line is:

Pickles are the new egg rolls.

It's Mo Monday!

Ever mis-read the title of a book and find yourself disappointed by the reality? It happens to all of us, even Mo. He saw this book and read the title as "The Unbeatable Squirrel". He loved the portrayal of squirrels but was confused the repeat appearances of a weird lady with a squirrel tail.

 

All fruit should taste of spandex

It's time once again for Stuff Out of Context! Today's line is:

The mango I just ate tasted nothing like a bathing suit.

 

It's Mo Monday!

When you see someone with a shovel you might think "Cool, he's into gardening." Seeing Mo with the same shovel brings only dread.

 

It came from the Goodwill

This looks like the result of some kind of Toy Story gone wrong.

We know it used to be a thing for women to make their own dolls, but who buys this many doll heads? And then doesn't make the dolls? Were they just lined up on a shelf somewhere?

Better than an eggplant with hair

It's time once again for Stuff Out of Context! Today's line is:

If you want to look like a potato with legs...

 

It's Mo Monday!

It seems Mo never changes. He's constantly searching for the perfect minions. This week he's latched onto this collection of miniature dinosaurs in hopes that he can grow them into full sized monsters. We can be grateful that he doesn't recognize rubber. These little toys may well keep his attention for a few weeks before he acknowledges that they aren't growing.

 

Doors redux

We've posted in the past about Opie's difficulties with doors (here and here, if you missed them). It's been years, so we thought maybe Opie had finally figured how how to work a door.

Most recently, Opie walked up to a door and stood there waiting for it to open. To be clear, there is not a sing automatic door in all of Tartarus, nor has there ever been. Every single door in the building has always required the user to turn a handle. And Opie has worked at Tartarus for YEARS. Apparently, Opie expects even inanimate objects to jump to his will the way people do.

Or maybe he just flunked out of Hogwarts

 

Belching, on the other hand...

It's time once again for Stuff Out of Context! Today's line is:

Farting makes you zen.

 

It's Mo Monday!

Uncle Sam was created to inspire patriotism, to encourage young men to join the army. Uncle Mo inspires fear and dread, encourages young men to hide under their beds and weep.

 

It came from the Goodwill

We have no idea what this thing is intended to be. We can only assume it serves some terribly evil purpose. Could it be anything else, with a face like that?
 

He can fit you in a week from Thursday

It's time once again for Stuff Out of Context! Today's line is:

When is a good time for the eye-poking pterodactyl to visit?

 

Did we miss a memo?

We've written before about how some of our coworkers have taken to wearing water shoes  to Tartarus. The illness is spreading. It's gotten so bad that we see more water shoes than regular shoes. 

Now, we'll grant them that the Tartarus dress code is vague. The only footwear specifically forbidden is flipflops. Apart from that our dress code only states that we must wear "professional shoes". (It also says we must have "professional hair", but that's a story for another day.) Mostly, we take that to mean no running shoes, but we'd have thought the ban would extend to water shoes. Apparently not, as no one but us thinks these shoes are a problem.

Part of the unofficial Tartarus uniform, apparently